The Good and Bad of Remaining Together for Your Children
There are millions of households in the United States that have children younger than 18, and nearly two-thirds of those kids live with both of their parents. Some of those households have parents that are married while others are unmarried but committed. Then there are some homes where the child lives with only one parent, and usually, that parent is the mother, but there are single father homes as well.
When to Call It Quits
While many kids are perfectly fine with parents who are divorced or single, others do better with both parents together. As a result, if you have been considering ending your relationship with your child’s other parent, you may wonder if you should, in fact, stay together. There are both pros and cons to staying together for the sake of your children.
Pros of Staying Together for the Kids
There are several reasons for choosing to stay together for the sake of your kids. They include the following.
- Time can heal wounds. If your relationship has reached the point of contention, deciding to stay together for your children can ease. Time can heal wounds, especially if there is forgiveness. You can work through the problems in your relationship and end up even happier later. Your kids can also be the cement keeping you together.
- Your kids may have fewer behavioral issues. Kids from intact families are less likely to have behavioral issues even if there are occasional arguments.
- Your child is more likely to retain a relationship as an adult. Children who have more stability in their home with both parents there are more likely to be able to have successful relationships as adults. If your child sees you staying together, they are less likely to divorce their future spouse.
- Better financial foundation. When you and your partner stay together for your kids, you can build them a better financial foundation for their future.
- Reduces negative feelings. Even if you split amicably, the kids can be filled with anger and feelings of resentment. Staying together for your kids can reduce negative feelings.
Cons of Staying Together for the Kids
Of course, whenever there are benefits, there are also cons. The following are some disadvantages of staying together for the sake of your children.
- Poor relationship model for children. If you stay together for the kids despite your problems, it can set a poor example for them in terms of their future relationships. Your children may end up growing up to believe that unhappiness in a marriage or unmarried committed relationship is normal. Ultimately, you may end up splitting up anyway. A New Jersey family law attorney can help.
- Places children in an unsuitable family role. Staying together for the kids can place them in the wrong role within the family. This is especially true if there’s abuse in your relationship.
- It can create more angst. Your kids can feel a sense of angst if they know you stayed together only for their sake. This can affect a child’s grades, hobbies, friendships and extracurricular activities.
- It gives kids a false sense of relationships. When parents stay together only for the sake of their kids, it can give the children a false sense of what relationships are like. If there’s a lot of resentment in your relationship, or you’re in different places and no longer in love, it will teach the kids that conflict in a relationship doesn’t matter and that staying together is the most important thing.
- It often doesn’t give you the results you want. You may stay together for your children believing that your relationship can be salvaged. Sadly, the opposite is often the case.
If you have decided that staying together for your kids isn’t working, and you want to learn about your options, a New Jersey family law attorney can help. Contact Morgenstern & Rochester in Cherry Hill at (856) 489-6200 to discuss your situation with an experienced lawyer.