The real impact of a divorce is seldom felt until it’s over, until the judge has signed the divorce decree. Though many recent divorcees (men in particular) often publicly claim relief or renewal or even joy, experts say that, more realistically, everyone who goes through the experience of divorce feels some pain and loss. Here are some recommendations to help you adjust to the changes in your life.

Take Some Time to Be by Yourself

When you are in a relationship, whether it’s healthy or not, you must give up some of yourself. In unhealthy relationships, it often ends up being more of yourself, such that it can be easy to lose touch with what you really enjoy and love, what fuels your passion, and what nurtures you. In the aftermath of a divorce, you need to take time to reacquaint yourself with yourself.

The natural tendency can be to gravitate toward a new relationship—that makes sense. You suddenly have a lot more time to fill and the inclination can be to find a special someone to spend it with. But you’ll do so at the expense of learning who you are and what really matters to you. In a new relationship, you’ll be motivated to be the person you think he/she wants, not the person you are. Give yourself a break and hang out with yourself for at least six months.

Get Your Finances in Order

You may have the same financial obligations (or greater ones, if you have to pay support), but less income, as you no longer have a spouse contributing to the pot. Don’t make any major expenditures—no new car, no expensive vacation. You will be better served in the long run to volunteer for overtime at work, unless it interferes with your relationship with your children.

Make Your Children a Priority

Your children have just been divorced, too—from everything they knew and that provided any sense of stability they had. They don’t have the maturity and resources that you do to help them cope with the differences they face every day. Be there for them as much as you can.

Get Counseling If It Helps

It’s never a bad thing to seek guidance from a professional, if it helps you move forward.

Contact Morgenstern & Rochester

At Morgenstern & Rochester, our two partners have almost 50 years of combined family law experience. We are a boutique family law firm that takes a hands-on approach. When you hire us, you will always work directly with one of our partners, never with an inexperienced associate or a paralegal.

To arrange a confidential meeting with an experienced Cherry Hill family law attorney, contact us online or call our office at 856-489-6200